What is the Difference Between Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce?

MEDIATION is an independent, voluntary, confidential process conducted by a mediator, who is neutral. Attorneys are not required. The mediator will:

  • Assist you and your spouse in identifying those issues preventing settlement.
  • Explore various avenues to resolution.
  • Develop a settlement resolution acceptable to you and your spouse.
  • Will prepare a Separation Agreement for presentation to the Court. (Only mediators who are attorneys may draft Separation Agreements.)
    The two of you will select the mediator. The mediator’s fees will usually be split between the two of you, however, the two of you may agree to a different responsibility for the fee.

The major benefits of Mediation are:

  • The mediation is private.
  • The mediator will provide all the time you and your spouse need to work on a resolution.
  • Experienced mediators have settlement rates of between 85% and 97%.
  • An attorney need not be present at mediation sessions.

In COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE, you, your spouse, your Collaborative lawyers and Coaches make up the Collaborative Team. The Team has one goal, the quick and efficient resolution of all issues without trial litigation.Coaches make your divorce process efficient and usually less expensive. The most common Coaches are the Facilitator and the Financial Neutral. The Facilitator expedites the process by helping you and your spouse identify term goals and overcome inter-personal roadblocks. The Financial Neutral expedites the process by analyzing the financial needs of your family, identifying tax provisions related to those needs and creating realistic plans to preserve family income and property. Coach hourly fees are often much lower than attorney hourly fees.

In Collaborative Divorce, attorneys are specially trained and certified.

Your Professional Collaborative Team will:

  • Identify issues regarding the children, support and property division that are preventing resolution.
  • Divide primary responsibility for resolving those issues. For example, issues dealing with the children will be addressed primarily by the Facilitator Coach; issues about the amount of support needed will be addressed by the Financial Coach.
  • Have the required Separation Agreement, Petition for Divorce and Affidavit prepared, executed and filed.
  • Have your attorneys accompany you to the Probate and Family Court for your divorce hearing before a Judge.


The major benefits of Collaborative Divorce are:

  • From beginning to end, you are with and “supported” by a team dedicated to getting you and your spouse divorced quickly and efficiently.
  • All issues are dealt with and resolved in confidential sessions.
  • Your attorneys handle all the administrative court matters to get your divorce papers filed, docketed and scheduled for a hearing.
  • At your divorce hearing your attorneys will respond to questions of the judge, thereby avoiding rescheduling of the hearing because you did not have an attorney to correctly answer questions.


by Anthony C. Adamopoulos

How Long Does It Take to Get a Divorce Through Mediation?

The time it takes to get “through” the Mediation Process initially depends on whether or not each party returns a properly completed Probate and Family Court Financial Statement. The Mediator needs a correct Financial Statement for many reasons. An insufficient Statement causes delay and increased cost. At the outset, the Mediator will provide clients with the form and instructions.

To complete the Divorce Mediation the mediator will guide the parties through any issues surrounding the three major components of a Separation Agreement – the children, support and division of property.

The length of time it takes to resolve each component is directly related to the amount of disagreement on each component.

For example, if the parties have already agreed on how many over-nights the children will spend at each parent’s home, they have essentially resolved about 1/3 of the Divorce Mediation. The same applies to support. If the parties agree with the accuracy of each other’s Financial Statement and their respective post-divorce financial needs, they will also have resolved 1/3 of the Divorce Mediation. Lastly, if the parties agree on the accuracy of each other’s Financial Statement and have already decided how the property listed on each Financial Statement will be divided between them, then they will have resolved 1/3 of the Mediation.

Assuming a fact pattern similar to the above, then the mediation can be completed in less than three hours. There remains only the preparation of the formal Divorce Separation Agreement by the mediator. (Only divorce mediators who are attorneys can prepare Divorce Separation Agreements.) Under the above scenario, it would take about one and half hours or less to prepare the Agreement.

So how long does a divorce mediation take? About four to five hours if the Financial Statements are accurate and the parties are in agreement as to the major issues.

by Anthony C. Adamopoulos

Read the Original Blog Here: https://www.divorcingoptions.com/Blog/?p=346

Saving $$$$ Divorcing — Financial Statements

By Guest Blogger, Anthony C. Adamopoulos

In my over 25 years of helping people facing divorce, I have seen, in almost every divorce, a reoccurring client decision that results in wasting hundreds, and sometimes, thousands of dollars.

What is that decision? The decision not to read and follow the court’s instructions on how to complete the court’s Financial Statement.

In all divorce cases, the most important document is the Probate and Family Court Financial Statement.

In an “uncontested” divorce, the judge reads the Financial Statement to help her or him decide if she or he will approve the parties’ Separation Agreement. I have seen judges, or their clerks, refuse to let uncontested divorce cases be approved because Financial Statements did not conform to the court’s instructions.

In contested cases, the Financial Statement helps the judge determine many issues, for example, the standard of living of a party, the needs of a party, and the honesty of a party.

In my office, and the offices of many attorneys I know, we do not complete client Financial Statements. No client of mine can ever say, “I do not know where that number came from, my attorney completed the Financial Statement.” Clients must complete their own Financial Statements.

The Probate and Family Court Instructions for Financial Statements can be found by going to my web site DivorcingOptions.com, then to RESOURCES, then to Long Form Instructions or Short Form Instructions.

There are about 13 to 15 paragraphs of instruction.

The instructions for both forms are accompanied by a self-calculating form for the user’s convenience.

Here is a list of the most ignored instructions:

  1. Fill in your name and address;
  2. Answer every question;
  3. If an answer to a question is 0 or none, enter 0 or none;
  4. All income and expenses are to be reported in weekly amounts with monthly figures being divided by 4.3;
  5. List all assets and present value.

5.Since the Family Court wants its instructions followed, my paralegal or I must point out what needs to be changed, in a client’s draft Statement, to comply with the court’s instructions.

Because clients are paying for time, the amount of errors and the amount of resistance (Yes, some clients resist the court’s instructions under the misbelief that the court will make an exception in their case.) can result in legal fees that are avoidable.

The take away:

The court’s instructions are few and clear. Taking the time to follow them can save you $$$$.

Please click the link to navigate to Anthony C. Adamopoulos’s website.

Divorce Decree Can’t Compel Mediation

In a recent ruling on Ventrice v. Ventrice, a husband and wife could not be compelled to engage in mediation at their own expense as a condition of their being permitted to file actions in the future to enforce or modify the terms of their divorce. The husband argued that his right to free access to the courts was violated by a clause in his divorce decree requiring the parties to engage in, and pay for, court-directed mediation before either could file any subsequent action in court. Ultimately, the Court agreed. And so do we. In fact, one of our Divorce Mediation experts, C. Michele Dorsey, Esq. writes, “For mediation to be truly effective, it must be voluntary. There have been noble efforts by courts and other administrative agencies to work around this by establishing rules that attempt to address the concerns that arise when court-connected mediation is mandated.” Current Massachusetts law (M.G.L. c.233, aec.23c) provides limited direction and protection for people who choose to participate in private mediation. Ventrice v. Ventrice refers to the direction given by the court in Bower v. Bournay-Bower, a decision that addressed issues regarding the authority of parenting coordinators, but also mentioned mediators and other ADR professionals. It’s high time to enact a comprehensive statute that provides protection to people who choose to engage in private mediation as well as guidance for private mediators.

Mediation is a valuable service which should be available without having to compromise constitutional rights.” Another of our Divorce Mediation experts, Patricia D. Watson, Esq. further notes, “The reference in the decision to Gustin v. Gustin, which held that a judge cannot order the parties to binding arbitration unless they agree to do so, suggests that this decision limits what a judge can order, but does not limit the ability of the parties to agree otherwise.” This indicates that the decision in Ventrice v. Ventrice may be more narrow than it first appears. What does all this mean to those seeking Alternative Dispute Resolution? Mediation and arbitration still remain available to divorce litigants who both agree to employ a process that will provide a faster, less expensive, and less stressful resolution of their conflict then going to court.

Our experts in divorce mediation can help you and your clients resolve even the most contentious of conflicts. Visit us at www.mdrs.com or call us at (800) 536-5520 to learn more about how we can help you achieve the results you need.