How can participants maximize their chances for a successful outcome in mediation? While there are many worthwhile opinions and no shortage of advice, the simple virtue of civility can advance your negotiations in a powerful way.
Overlooked in so many cases is the personal factor. There are reports, claims, medical bills, evidence to be collected. There are usually emotions that further complicate each situation, and always in unique ways. Quite often there is never a direct or seemingly appropriate opportunity for one side to say to the other: “I’m sorry this happened,” an offer of sympathy, or even a kind word. Easy to forget in our world of work and facts and responsibilities is that bringing personal touches such as kindness, friendliness, and receptiveness to traditionally business-focused circumstances can have astounding impact. This is a hidden treasure of a key to help unlock your successful mediation.
While most attorneys and other professionals who participate in mediations display similar traits of civility and courtesy during the mediation process, too often, perhaps in the pursuit of zealous advocacy for the client or their case, an attorney, representative or party, usually in the initial opening joint session, makes comments that cross a line and offend, demean, or alienate their opponent. One should consider that these initial comments at the joint session often set a tone for the hours that follow. Such offending comments become counterproductive to the process and the mediator’s work. Because of these comments, excessive and valuable time becomes required thereafter for the mediator to stabilize the person(s) offended by these comments, often in private caucuses, and make them receptive to compromise and the willingness to show the flexibility needed for a successful outcome. Our experience is that less Rambo and more Dale Carnegie, will significantly improve your odds for a successful mediated resolution.
Don’t confuse civility with weakness. Attorneys, representatives and parties must be able to clearly state their positions as to all relevant issues that arise during a mediation. How and when they do so at a mediation, however, is the issue. We see more and more that experienced trial attorneys, with track records of success as fervent client advocates at trial, are choosing to leave their hatchets at home and making ever briefer and less contentious opening comments at the initial joint mediation session, knowing that the mediation process differs greatly from trial.
Most mediators recognize that for many parties a mediation can be viewed as their “day in court” and they may be used to, or expect, that their counsel in opening comments will passionately attempt to vanquish their opponent. However, experienced counsel will advise their clients of what mediation is and isn’t, and that their opening comments may not be what the client would hear at a trial. Many comments or arguments that could offend the opponent if made at the outset in the open joint session can be shared with the mediator later in private caucuses. Often a mediator may have a better sense of how and when such arguments could then be made most effectively and productively to the opponent.
As Mary Wortley Montagu said well: “Civility costs nothing and buys everything.”
Our expert mediators can help you and your clients resolve even the most contentious of conflicts. Visit us at www.mdrs.com or call us at (800) 536-5520 to learn more about how we can help you achieve the results you need.